Friday, 18 September 2015

I Can't Say I Agree

A couple of weeks back I read something that a lot of people were reposting and agreeing with. It went a little like this.
   "A lot of men think they are doing women a favour asking for her hand in marriage, but let's think about it.
    - She changes her name.
    - Leaves her family.
    - Moves in with you.
    - Builds a home with you.
    - Gets pregnant for you.
    - Pregnancy changes her body.
    - She gets fat.
    - Almost gives up in labour due to the
       unbearable pains during child birth.
    - Even the children she delivers bear
       your name.
Till the day she dies everything she does (cooking, cleaning your house, bringing up your children, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining family relations) everything that benefits you, sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.
So who's really doing who a favour?
Being a women is priceless"
I couldn't disagree more.
In a relationship I don't think anyone does anyone a favour. Unless you're asking them to pass you a pen or turn the TV on because they're closer.
I moved in with my partner and left my family, I chose to do that because I want to be with him. But I'm not the only one in this relationship to leave my family. In fact my partner is miles away from his  and I'm 10mins up the road from mine.
As a couple we decided to build a home and have a baby. Before falling pregnant I knew my body was going to change and yes I found that difficult but they are my own issues and I battle them every day. What I did realise is, what a beautiful thing to watch happen, I carried my daughter and as she grew, I grew. I didn't 'get fat' my body was a home, a safe place whilst she was most vulnerable.
As a team we gave birth to our  baby, I may have shouted at him and thought he was useless for placing his attention else where when I was asking for the gas and air back. But, he was there holding my hand as I pushed, as the pain powered through my body, he was there telling me our little girl was going to be there soon and giving me those important words of encouragement.
One day I want to get married to my daughters father and I want to take his name. We are a team and we share experiences. We help each other out and cry on each others shoulders. He cooks and cleans when I've had a busy day entertaining our Princess. I'll make him a coffee and run him a bath whilst he makes the bed and changes our daughters nappy.
We don't do 'favours' for one another, we work together and appreciate how hard the other one works.
Creating a family with someone so special is priceless.

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